Resilience is a character only a few people have mastered; most people in the world aren’t resilient. It’s not new to find people blaming others for their misfortunes, like losing a job or loved one. If they’re not blaming their friends for their failed marriages, they’re blaming God for their life not going well. People who lack resilience never take responsibility for what happens in their lives; everyone but them is guilty.
Unfortunately, blaming others for their setbacks prevents them from recovering from the loss and moving forward. They are the exact opposite of resilient people; they are quick to get back on their feet. They heal faster emotionally and focus on their part in the problem rather than what part others played. Then, they consider how they can fix it and minimize the chances of the problem recurring.
Resilience is undoubtedly something every efficient parent wants to see in their child, even if they aren’t resilient. If you want to teach yourself resilience, below are suggestions on how. You have tasks to perform in raising a resilient child, and you may even become resilient in the process yourself.
The first thing to do is help them experience and develop that feeling that they can do something. Sitting back and letting their child do something is hard as a parent, especially when it makes absolutely no sense. Understand that when we say “let your child do things,” we don’t mean letting them do what will endanger them. Instead, you should step in if and when you feel their actions put them in danger.
However, avoid discouraging them from doing what they want to do, which doesn’t endanger them. Children develop an increase in resiliency when they try things out and make their assessments.
On the one hand, don’t criticize their mistakes; on the other hand, don’t over-gush over their big or small successes. Staying neutral about their achievements or lack of it helps them develop confidence in their skills and capabilities. When your child experiences something negative or positive, let them talk about their feelings and thoughts concerning the experiences. For example, you can ask them how what happened made them feel, why they think it happened, and what they’ll do about it.
This way, you’re helping them embrace what happened deep within and provide answers to these questions from their hearts. These answers will likely weigh more than your parental opinion; if he asks for your opinion, give it and ask him what he thinks.
Let your child be involved in activities that integrate him with others; for example, play dates with others, teams, and church groups. This way, they develop a connection with others and are assured that they are not alone. Being with others teaches them to help others in need and reach out to others when they need help. The burden is on you to teach them that the world is a community, and we can all ask for or provide help.
Integrating your child with others helps them develop a caring nature and empathy toward others. Meanwhile, your actions are your child’s most effective teacher, so let them learn from you doing the same thing.
Another way to teach your child resilience is by teaching him to take a stand respectfully for causes or others. The best way to teach this lesson is by being a good role model your child can learn from. For example, take your child to rallies, benefit events like fundraisers, or school committee meetings. Also, talk about what you stand for in your child’s presence, including at family dinners and meetings.
Seeing you stand for a good cause will inspire your child to do the same thing and take their stand. Avoid teaching your child deception, like asking them to tell someone you’re not home because you don’t want to speak with them.
You must help your child understand and adapt to delayed gratification. Teach them to work for what they want rather than expect them to be handed to them on a silver platter. Help them understand that some things are earned and not awarded using examples in your own life. For example, you can share how you work hard to get your certificates and awards with them.
Try incorporating a budget plan for your child where he earns and saves money to buy whatever he wants. That’s better than just going out and buying whatever he wants. Please don’t make him feel bad for wanting something because everyone else has it.
Conclusively, you should avoid trying to make everything all better or fair for your child when he doesn’t get what he hoped for. Let them experience that negative feeling of losing because they need it to develop coping skills. For example, avoid rushing out to buy a trophy or medallion to encourage your child who loses in a competition. Let your child feel all the emotions, including pain and discomfort; they need to experience them to become resilient individuals.